Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Single and Ready to......

Don't finish that sentence just yet!!! As singles, for the most part we seem to think we are ready for a relationship and for whatever reason it's just not falling into place. We find ourselves in this semi-something "relationships" that torture us until we or they fall apart and totally dissolve. And then the next day, we wake up, and do it all over again. WHAT THE HECK!!! Kiddies are we really so naive? Are we really so desperate for love, companionship, romance, affection, a person to share trash duties with that we do not observe the obvious?
I lean to the ideal that there could be more than one person for each of us, but it's a commitment and a choice to love one person for the rest of our lives when we marry. I do believe in romance, but I believe it takes effort and trust for it to really exist. It takes more than physical attraction or lust. In my years as a college student living in a female dorm, and then as a college professional living in a female dorm I have heard my fair share and probably yours too of girl drama based on boy drama. While I always want to be supportive, have a listening ear, and sensitive to the hurt of a young and wounded heart I also want to speak truth when and where it's needed. In my life I've had many heart aches. I think that most of them could've been prevented if those closest to me would've spoken a sensitive truth to my young tender heart. We arrive to this earth already broken and wounded as an after math to the choices of Adam and Eve. Then we have the after math of our current parents’ choices to add to our fragility, strength, and view of love, romance and relationships. With all of that considered it's a wonder we are able to love at all sometimes. The least we can do to help one another is be sensitive and speak truth when it's needed.

In listening to different stories of wounded hearts, poor choices, affection given and not received I've learned so much. I mean lets be real....all you have to do is turn on a reality show and see these things. You don't even have to leave your house and take time to hear people. It's everywhere. Facebook statuses, tweets, and magazines. People are more than willing to share their heart ache with the world. My heart ache is seeing people give their hearts and in some situations their body to others who have done nothing to deserve them. I should add in this section my belief of pursuit. It may attribute to my current relationship status, but I sternly believe that the male is to pursue the female in a relationship where frienship isn't the only goal, but possibly marriage. I believe the fella should take this step of faith with ZERO, ya, count em' on all of no fingers, ZERO, efforts of encouragement from the female. Gentlemen, I accept your hate mail. I know, it's a strict point of view. But I CAN NOT get out of my head the thought that if you need to be given a green light from the girl then she was the first to initiate pursuit. Consider us all blinking the yellow caution light....not green (go)....not red (stop), but yellow and blinking!!!! Yield, proceed with caution, slow the heck down, check your surroundings, school zone (or as I think of it "get school'd" zone), insert all other metaphors here. But that very first attempt at taking a friendship to a romance should come from the guy. I will not apologize for this point of view. But I do hate the fact it makes some of you men folk find it hard to breath. ;-)
I want to scream from the top of my lungs from the deepest part of my heart to those young ladies struggling to believe they deserve this pursuit, "YOU DESERVE GOD'S BEST!!!", "YOU DESERVE TO BE PURSUED!!! AND WON!!!", "YOU ARE WORTH SOMETHING!!", alas it seems the opposite of these truths are easier for our wounded hearts to believe. I also want to scream to the fella's, "BE A MAN!!!", "BE THE LEADER GOD CREATED YOU TO BE!!!", "ANYTHING WORTH HAVING IS WORTH WAITING FOR AND WORTH WORKING FOR!!!", "SHOW HER YOU ARE WORTH THE RISK BY TAKING A RISK TO PURSUE HER!!!" and "STOP BEING LAZY FOR HEAVENS SAKE!!!". 
I'll step off my soap box to encourage a few thoughts. I want to challenge the young ladies to stop planning weddings and start praying about being a wife. I want to encourage you beautiful young ladies that are waiting for their "prince charming" to be spending time doing something that reflects the love of the King instead of your love for the prince. I want to dare you to be praying for your future husband. If you think you are struggling imagine what he may be going through right now. When you think of the things you long for, desire, and see as traits of your future mate I wonder if you've compared yourself ? Are you someone that would be worthy of that kind of man ? Do you match your expectations ?
There are a plethera of books, websites, etc. that you can get advice from. Here are a few of my favorites. Preparing to Be A Help Meet,  by Debi Pearl is my latest read and perhaps my favorite so far when it comes to singleness, relationships and Christian womanhood. I feel she has some encouraging, challenging, realistic and Biblical information. While you think on all these things here are a few books worth investing time in reading. Love you all!!
Preparing to Be A Help Meet - Author Debi Pearl http://nogreaterjoy.org/blogs/preparingtobeahelpmeet/book/
Lady in Waiting - Author Jackie Kendall -http://www.jackiekendall.com/node/27
A Man Worth Waiting For - How To Avoid  A Bozo - Author Jackie Kenall http://www.jackiekendall.com/node/24

Again, Hope to be of help to you dear sisters in the faith!!!!

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