For A While I Have Felt That Very Little in My Life is Actually in My Control. When That Happens I Always Cope w Creativity. Writing, Painting, Crafting, DIYing, Cooking, Baking, Drawing, Cosmetics, Music, Etc. Are All Avenues in Which I Can Feel Like I Somewhat Have a Say in How Something Begins & How Something Turns Out. When One Outlet is Frustrating Me Keeping Me From That Little Bit of Control I So Desperately Need, I Turn to Another One.
As of Late Its Been Drawing & Cosmetics. I Feel They Kinda Go Together in a Way. Colors, Shapes, The Creation of Pretty. I Write, but at the Moment it Doesn't Satisfy Like The Other More Colorful Options. Words Can Be So Final. So Harsh. Not Harsh Enough. Mistaken, Hurtful, Misleading, IDK if Words Are My Friends Right Now, but as w/ Art Its Really All Up To Interpretation. You Know, Eye of the Beholder & What Not.
Today When My Plans Feel Apart, As My Body Once Again Reminded Me How Little Say I Have in Things, as My House Reminds Me of My To~Do List, & As Nicolas Sparks Reminds Me Love isn't Always Fair, (there's NS marathon on tv) I Praise the Lord for a Couple Hours of Creativity & Control. Sure, I Could Excerpt Control by Doing the Dishes, but That Simply Isn't as Satisfying as Seeing a Page Covered in Images I Created w My Own Two Little Fat Baby Hands.
Thank You Lord for the Creative Control. Thank You For Allowing Me the Delusion That I Have Control Over Some Little Something. Thank You That Tomorrow When The RA in My Hand is Pissed I Spent Hours Drawing That You Have Already Provided Healing & Comfort.
What's Your Outlet? How Do You Take Control?