What it Once Was

Isaiah 43:18-19 "Remember not the former things nor consider the things of old.

Behold I am doing a new thing, now it springs forth, do you not perceive it ?

I will make a way in the wilderness and a river in the desert."

What it once was isn't necessarily what it will always be . I've been doing a lot of praying this week about my past, present and future . I've been in situations where it's expected that I be able to state my strengths, weaknesses, goals, and why something is of interest to me . After a few times of rolling of the "right" answers I found myself pondering if I really believed what I was saying . Or had I been in this situation a multitude of times to where now I turn into a robot spitting out data that will please . My answer to this pondering was a little of both, there are some answers to questions that are expected, "why do you want this job ? " - A. Because not being poor is cool. B. Because I believe I can add to this position and it can make me better as well . Let's be honest both of these answers are correct, but only one should be said out loud .

I also found myself sharing a lot of my inner clock work with close friends this week . More answering of questions or explanations provided to blank stares as to why do I want to do the things I want to do or not do . Since I don't have siblings I depend largely on my friends for advice, guidance, balance and encouragement . While, the majority of my friends understand me I can't help but feel that a few of them think that I live in a magical world where the roads are paved with rock candy, the sky rains skittles, and I travel on pink pony that poo's glitter .

While, yes, that would be a splendid world to live in I'm fully aware of my reality . The reality of this world we live in isn't promised to be safe, wonderful, and caring . But my reality is very blessed to be quiet honest . To live in such a rough world where so many don't know what it is to be supported by loved ones or encouraged by friends or to feel the sensitive leading of the Lord, I, in comparison to all that, have an embarrassment of riches !! I have ALWAYS felt the presence of the Lord guiding me through out my life . Even in the times I so desperately wanted to stray from Him and His calling on my life I still felt Him ever so close . I believe He has had His hand and orchestration on every step I've made . Everything from the college I attended to the roommates I had . I look back and can see so much of His handiwork . But even now I as I look forward I can still see His handiwork in almost every day .  While times aren't always easy I still feel very loved and provided for by my Savior. I learned long ago not to question how He provides or why He loves , but rather to be thankful that He does . I'm lucky to be able to feel His closeness and to sense His guidance in my life . Not everyone, even His other children can say that they feel His leading them toward or away from something so closely and so confidently . I didn't realize that till just recently . I pray that in every step I take good or bad that at some point there is a reference back to the Lord . As I speak of my past I pray that it reflects what I once was and not what I currently am . When I speak of my present I pray that it references what I hope to be . And when I look to the future I pray that it gleams things I can't even begin to imagine now . I'm so grateful to have been created with the heart and mind that I was. I fear if I thought any other way I'd be so sad.

Lamp After

Lamb Before

This afternoon I've done some tangible activities to keep in my mind that just because something was once one thing doesn't mean it always will be. My lamp for example is going to be something that I can look at and be reminded daily that our past does not predict our future. Yes, the lamp is still a lamp, but with a little TLC and creativity it's a much brighter and cleaner lamp.

Here are a few of my hands on reminders that 

what once was isn't always what will be.

Before : Dirt & Seeds
After : Tomatoes and Chives = Yummy Goodness!!
Sometimes something wonderful can come from something
seemingly not so wonderful like mud :-)

After: When all the perfume had
been used. I cleaned the bottle and
turned into a new spray bottle
for my latest home made pesticide.

Before : Perfume Bottle
Beautiful, sweet and simply lovely.
The bottle is still a bottle, but after it's
original use it still has purpose.