Monday, January 7, 2013

~ I Miss Your Face ~

~FUHouse~ 4 out of 5 roomies had the flu, the one behind
the french doors didn't want to risk it. #memories
I miss your  face and it just makes me so mad sometimes . There are relationships that just aren't meant for forever . We've all experienced it . Sometimes it's elementary , high school or college friends that over time the relationship simply ends . Sometimes it's family . Through divorce , death , life choices , or distance not all family connections last . So, o.k. What do we do when we miss someone that just wasn't meant to be there forever or is simply far away ?  I tend to be an advocate of "feel what you feel", meaning if you are sad then be sad . If you need to mourn the loss of a relationship, then do so . Then move on . But in these situations when it is truly out of your control , fate stepped in and removed something or someone that simply wasn't suppose to be there , how do you handle the moments of missing ?
~ College Life ~ A few of my Besties~
~ RD Life ~ Snow Days are the Best Days~
I'm unsure at this point what the answer to that question is . I don't know that my normal philosophy of emotion which is "feel what you feel and move on" would work . To miss some one is to linger on what once was , what isn't and possibly what may never be . I don't know that I consider any of that a healthy thought for more than a moment . What I have realized though , is once again , the importance of embracing opportunities when they are presented . Since I moved back home the one thing I've missed most are the friendships . My grandparents have always said that I've been blessed with such amazing friends . I agree and for me , these friendships have more often than not turned into what feels like family . I didn't grow up with siblings and lived in a single parent home so, my happiest times are with friends . Not necessarily "doing" things or "going" places, but just all together everyone chatting, laughing and being in one place . Comfortable . Growing up I always loved to be where all my cousins were . I don't know if it's the only child thing or what, but I love a gathering of loved ones in a home . My great grandmother had 11 children she then took part  in helping raise some of her grand children and even great-grandchildren . I was one of the lucky ones who got to spend summers in her home . With each day I never knew which cousin , aunt or uncle might drop by to visit . I think all of this really formed my "happy place " of being with people I love .

In HS we were awesome...
good news...we still are .

All that said , as I've worked on reconnecting with old friends , family , and keeping connected with those in other cities I've really missed people . I consider myself pretty good at technological communication . Ya know, facebook, texting, phone calls, skype , etc. But since my move I haven't always been able to take the opportunities presented to spend the time in person that I wish I could  . I've often had friends from afar be in a near by city or even in town and not be able to visit with them for one reason or another . Such an instance happened three times in a row this last holiday season . I've been so sad and missing the people that make me whole .

Definition of WHOLE. 1. a (1): free of wound or injury : unhurt
(2): recovered from a wound or injury : restored (3): being healed
In all this time with opportunities taken and opportunities missed I'd been beating myself up and feeling wounded over how much I missed my friends . I had been feeling like I'd let them all down with each time that I couldn't meet up . Friday I had planned to meet up with some friends I hadn't seen in over a year . They happen to be near by and it was something I really was looking forward too . However, that morning I wasn't feeling very well at all . I was so disappointed . I had to postpone and hope to be able to see them the next day .With postponing the possibility of spending time with my friends I became overwhelmed and sad . I started thinking that maybe the Lord was putting me in solitary confinement . Perhaps He had a reason for all this alone time . As I lay in bed that night praying that I'd feel better the next day so I could see my friends, it hit me .  I realized what exactly I had unknowingly fallen victim too . It wasn't the Lord keeping me away from my friends . He was the one providing all these opportunities !! I had unknowingly and unwittingly been looking past His provision for my needs . How was I so blind ?! Saturday I woke up with determination to not pass on another opportunity to take hold of God's provision . I had a wonderful time with good friends . It was relaxing , fun , and a tangible experience of Gods' love , provision and care for me . 
So, I suppose , the answer to " How do you handle the moments of missing ? " would be instead another question . How is God trying to fill that space ? Is He providing you with opportunities to make new friends , reconnect , or perhaps the time alone has a purpose as well ? My realization was that He had been trying to ease my pain of missing my friends for some time . I however , so consumed with myself hadn't even be able to notice His hand . How upsetting is that realization ?! I was so consumed with myself that I missed God !!!! My eyes are open now and I hope to not be so flippant when a opportunity comes my way . God truly cares for not only our needs , but our wants as well . I'm grateful for a God that knows me so well . And while "my" plans for Friday had fallen through God still had a plan for my day that I'm so grateful for .
How might He be trying to answer your prayers or provide for you that you may be missing ?

~ Campus Life ~ Costume Cruise ~ Friends that Might as well be Family ~
 ~ Chattanooga Life ~ Tacky Christmas Party ~
~Don't deny the awesomeness that is my goodwill dress~

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