Saturday, March 2, 2013

Fairy Tale Princess Convicted of False Advertising

Cinderella - met a dude , danced for a night , ran away , lost her shoe and he spent the next day looking for her . Found her . Wait, spent the next day having other people look for her , they found her . Proposed . Got Married . The End .

Snow White - ran away from home , ate some bad fruit , took a wicked long nap , was awoken by a prince . Got Married . The End . Oh wait , lived with 7 men then ate bad fruit, nap, kiss, marriage .

Ariel - met a dude on the beach , gave away her voice to a lady octopus ,  hung out for days WITHOUT her ever speaking w actual words , some other stuff happens and then they get married . Oh, has a family full of fish people , stuff happens, they get married . The End.

Belle - crazy dad , loved to read , got traded to be a house "guest" , feel in love with a grizzly bear , gave him a make over after a kiss , wait, probably took acid because the dishes dance and sing . Tresspassed, found a wilting flower , gave him kiss , then got married . The End .

Jasmine - Well to do princess .Bored with wealth and beauty.  Dates a thief . Cleans him up , gets married , adopts pet monkey. The End.

Sleeping Beauty - cuts her self sewing , another wicked long nap , some dude finds her , kisses her , they get married. The End.

Disney Princes Version of a Mug Shot
(please note: if ever I am arrested I hope to come out with a mug
shot looking something like one of these)

If all it really took was napping , cutting yourself sewing and losing shoes.....I'd totally be married by now . I walk out of my shoes ALLLL THE TIME . Ask anyone who has been anywhere with me . It's probably that whole not speaking thing that gets me . BLAST! Anyway,  I mean , that's basically the long and short of it when it comes to fairy tales . I hate to sound like I've been drinking hateraide , but I think it's vital if a person ever plans to be in a real life relationship that the cataracts we get from watching "romance and love" in movies/TV be removed first . Don't go thinkin' I'm only calling out the animated . I have a few other "heroines" that I point the finger at and nearly throw the TV remote at every time I see them, such as "Serena Van der Woodsen" , "Carrie Bradshaw", and even my favorite TV mom "Lorielie Gilmore ". Each one is as crazy disfunctional as it could possibly get when it comes to relationships . I mean, for the love of all that is good and holy come on girls !!! Where is your self esteme , honesty and ability to learn from relationships past ?! With every one of their varied and multiple break downs over yet another relationship that went wrong I cringe . I realize these women are written and are for entertainment purposes , but success with a character more often than not comes because the audience identifies with them . Which tells me that there are many women just like these "characters" out there living similar situations and not just living them, but reliving them like it is how it's suppose to be . Probably not as many wearing designer clothes or working at a Inn and living in a wicked huge country home , but still . Chalk those diffreneces up to creative privlidges I suppose. Too many of us think that these type of written characters are examples of how we are suppose to be . In life and in love . In my opinion it couldn't be further from the truth . These are our cautionary tales.

I heard a guy once say that relationships rise and fall based on expectations . At the time I had no clue what he meant . I have since realized exactly what he meant . Girls have a tendancy to go into a relationship with one thought path and guys go in with another . Then at some point , for the lucky ones it happens early on for others much time is wasted, before the inevitable happens and one or both confess they want different things in life .

In my mind , this often comes from what we as females deam as how a relationship is "suppose" to go .What we think romance is suppose to look like . Most of our ideals it would seem come from what we see on TV and or in a movie instead of what we've seen in real life from our parents , grandparents, siblibings , friends and even our own relationships . These real life people are the relationships we need to be watching if we want a realistic point of view when it comes to love, romance or the lack there of . I was at one time surrounded by young ladies all in varied walks of life , back grounds , goals , etc . One thing they all seemed to have in common was their ideal of "romance"and "love" . I'm unsure I ever heard the phrase , "I want a relationship like (insert a real person here)" . It was instead , "Did you see (insert romcom here)? Oh wasn't it so romantic when (insert ubserd and unrealistic act of "romance" here)?". I'd see girls broken hearted because it's 1 a.m. and he didn't call before going to bed . I'd think , give the guy a break , he had ball practice at 6 a.m. classes from 8-4 , another practice , then went to his sucky part time job and then came back for a study group . He had lunch with you , he texted you as he could , and probably at this point is so exhausted by the thought of doing it all again tomorrow he has no words left . But yes, poor you . So sorry he didn't call and is instead making himself a better person . This the man that after a week you are sure you're going to marry .  Seriously !!! Or the girls who had the total opposite guy . He is at the dorm lobby at 7:45 a.m. to walk you to your first class even though his class isn't till 10. He meets you for lunch and sits at a table for two instead of a table full of guys from his floor . Walks you back to the dorm at the end of classes and comes back just a hour later to walk you to dinner . Valentines approaches , the guy makes you a card b/c lets face it he's a college kid with no money and yet your sad your roomate got flowers and you didn't then claiming he isn't thoughtful . On the real girls, it takes no thought to purchase roses and lots of thought (and bravery when you live in a guy dorm) to hand make a card .

My point , what are your expectations and where do they come from ? Yes, the fella's have a few skewed ideals as well . I'm not pinning it all on you sister ! Next time he points to a girl and says she's pretty , maybe you point to a guy and reply with he's rich . Just kidding . That's my at times uncontrolable smart mouth being at this time uncontrolable . What I am really saying is , give the guy a break . He isn't a movie man , he's a real life human . Imagine the things you struggle with and multiply it . I say that because the men have the added pressure of being a leader , in some circles anyway . They're expected to bring home the baccon , protect the home , be sensitive , thoughtful and apparently mind readers . Please tell me where , other than in a cartoon movie , you've seen a man easily be all those things with out struggle .

When I spend time with my married friends I try to give props to them both for the work they put into a relationship . I'm not sure I could do it if the roles reversed . It takes trust , faith , forgivness (sometimes on a daily basis) , patience , and so much more that the list could on for days to truly love . There may be moments of romance that resemble scenes from a movie , but the rest of it is a unscripted reality TV show . I'm more impressed and moved by the relationships I see in real life that struggle and still choose love than the ones I've seen in movies that "struggle" and still "choose" love . But , that's just me .

I hope that with a bit of humor and some truth I've caused you to give some thought to how you compare , judge and decide if someone is worthy of your heart . There are of course MANY other things to consider beyond the simple ideals of romance. I'll write on those another time . Consider this a Reality Check 101 blog post . If you have someone , find a way to encourage them . If you don't, continue watching and learning from those around you . Even if you plan to stay single there are lessons to be learned from married friends and family .

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