"I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it. "
Me, some where close to 1yr old.
This week I had the opportunity to celebrate the marriage of one of my many cousins . She and I grew up together, close in age, our moms always hanging out and of course the enumerable family functions we survived together . It was emotional listening to her dad give a toast to her and her new husband . It was great to see some family, hear some stories and just chat . You know as a 30 something single I never expected to walk away from a wedding reception encouraged . I expected a lot of when will you be getting married , don't you want to have babies , along with a myriad of other same themed questions . And I was right to have such expectations, my cousin asked when am I gonna start having babies , my uncle asked "when will we be bringing gifts to something like this for you", all leading to my straight faced and serious as all get out response of , "Never. But you are welcome to bring me gifts any time you like." - TRUE STORY. I have a open door policy when it comes to receiving gifts. I mean, who doesn't ?!
While mom and I chatted with varied family members and met several of the newlyweds new family there was a lot of story telling going on . As I mentioned earlier I never expected to leave a wedding bash feeling encouraged and I never expected to hear a story about me . My cousins dad sat down to chat with mom and myself while everyone mingled . He said he had been going through old pictures and found one of mom on the day I was born . If this picture can be found again it may be the only one that exists of my sweet momma preggo with me . I of course asked him to please look for it again . I would LOVE to see it . Now, the majority of the stories I hear on my birth are 1. How long it took 2. How painful it was 3. How they expected a boy (Chad Davis would've been my name. I feel like I should have a identity crisis over this) 4. Everyone had to think of girl names on the spot, because see also #3. 5. Mamaw came up with my first name and mom decided my middle name . That is about the extent of my knowledge up until now on the night I was born . What I have taken away from that part of my story is that chaos, the unexpected and God's humor at our attempts to plan our lives has been apart of who I am since DAY 1 . Why am I surprised that its a couple decades later and nothing has changed ?
Somewhere in that 1 yr old range w my stroller full
of kittens at my Aunt Fleda's house . P.S. I wish overalls
would come back, those bad boys look comfy !!
With that said I know some of you hear about the day you were born all the time . Perhaps every year on your birthday , as I type this in my head I flash to a scene from Gilmore Girls where Loralei wakes Rory up in the wee hours of the morning/night to wish her a happy birthday and to tell her the story of the night she was born . Considering at this point babies aren't a real part of my "plan" I think I will adopt Loralei's tradition and wake up my friends children to tell them about their birth . Anyway, I don't recall such a tradition in my growing up so, as my cousin's dad began to tell his version of my birthday I was hanging on his every word . See Mom went into labor on the 23rd , my Aunt Rita's birthday, everyone was so excited thinking I would be born on Aunt Rita's bday, but when she got to the hospital they said to go back home and come back the next day . Since mom and dad lived a good 45 minutes from the hospital they knew that going home only to come back again wasn't a realistic option . So, they went to our cousins apartment. Conveniently they lived in the same city as the hospital . Mom and Dad spent two days in that one bedroom apartment with our cousins . Mom apparently walking up and down the hall way over and over just trying to get me moving . Mom says she barely remembers it she was in so much pain, sorry Mom . Apparently my dad and my cousins dad flipped rubber bands to help burn off some of the anxiety of "patiently waiting". Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins all made calls to see if I had arrived yet . Some even making the trek over only to find mom still walking the hall way of the apartment complex, still very with child . My cousin Glen said at one time there was close to twelve people in that tiny apartment . For some reason it is so difficult for me to believe that so many people were that excited to meet me . Finally on the 25th , it was go time ! Everyone so relieved that this little daughter, grand daughter, niece and cousin was FINALLY here and that sweet momma was out of pain .
After the reception and the story telling I was mulling over my surprise at having never heard this story, but also over the anticipation my relatives had for my arrival . With the struggles of present day I get bogged down with "what's my purpose", "why am I here", and several other dark doozies all making my life seem.........like a waste . Hearing this story gives me some real perspective . Not ego, not pride , not glory, but genuine perspective from the eyes of the One who truly spoke me into being . It is very easy when carrying the weights of life to forget how special that life is . I think on several of my friends and how excited we got at "go time" . For my friend Amanda close to 10 of us went to the hospital around midnight only to weight for hours until Jaxon arrived . We walked with her up and down the halls even playing music off the computer, "walk it out" will never be the same for me after that night . After mannnnyyyy hours we all sat excitedly chatting about how much longer it would be when all of a sudden her dad held up the cell phone and we hear that sweet baby boy cry . Again so relieved this new life was finally here and so happy that our loved one was out of pain . My Mamaw tells a funny story about my moms birth , they were a Navy family living on base in Texas at the time and mom was their first baby . Something happened where Mamaw had to stay or go back to the hospital leaving Papaw with a tiny little new born girl, my mom . Papaw grew up with all brothers and one sister so I have a feeling this baby girl was a bit out of his comfort zone . Apparently he did what all new dads do when left alone with their new born for the first time......he passed out.....or something to that effect . The ambulance was called , blood pressure was taken , if you know my Papaw even the slightest you know his greatest concern is his family . I suppose that day is where it all began . It makes me laugh so hard thinking about a big Navy man with this tiny little baby girl . I can only imagine what was going through his mind. Even now when moms birth story is told Papaw keeps going back to how very small she was and how he just didn't know what to do with/for someone so very small .
I could recount many a birth story and the joy everyone felt when that new life entered the world , but the point to this is that whatever your birth story is there was a "world" full of people waiting for you . If you've never heard your birth story I would encourage you to ask a parent , family or friend of the family to give their account . It doesn't matter how old you are or get, there is something so very special about thinking on a time when your parents where young , in love , nervous and about to have their world changed forever . Do you realize your birth was the moment they became selfless . I think on all the things mine have done for me throughout life and I forget that they didn't start out knowing exactly what to do or what would come .In the heat of the battle, under the weight of life's struggles do not be deceived by the ideas that your life was unintentional . No matter the circumstances you where created and given life on purpose !!
Whatever challenge this life is giving you remember and cling to the knowledge that you are a miracle and you were in God's thoughts long before you were in your parents . That's kinda amazing , isn't it ?! The Word says in Jeremiah 1:4, "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart...." .
"Thanks be to God for his inexpressible gift!" 2 Corinthians 9:15