Thursday, October 3, 2013

It's Never Easy

This week for me was spent in turmoil, stress and great debate . I have written in several post about my search for "what's next" . This week I came very close to what "could be" next . It started Monday morning with a phone call that offered a rejection.....and then a surprise opportunity . It was exactly the little boost I needed to keep me reminded that God is indeed at work in this specific part of my life . As I said once already , I spent the rest of my week in turmoil, stress and debate . I sought out advice, wisdom and the harsh honesty I needed from my closest of closest , both family and friends . Everyone had amazing advice, words of encouragement , truth , and they've spent time in prayer with and for me as if this opportunity was their own . Another thing I was reminded of this week is that I am deeply LOVED and cared for . I am blessed far more than I deserve with people who desire only Gods best for me in every single area of my life .

"That’s where trust steps in and reminds us we can’t ever learn how to live real faith if we never need real faith. As an offering of trust, we must give up that which could so easily bring us down.
Not give up as in discouraged surrender. But give up as in placing this desire in the hand of God and saying, “Either way, I will see Your answer as the good answer and walk in trust.”" - Lysa TerKeurst
Realizing that I am that lucky of a girl made it even harder for me to put my cell phone away , shut down my computer and turn off my brain for the evening . I've  been in prayer all week, but in all honesty I had also been in sheer panic all week . So, ya know, half and half . So, today after getting the last bit of wisdom I needed to hear , the out loud prayers of a dear friend and her too cute lil' boy , running errands and shutting down, I went into my closet . I turned off my mind , vegged out a little bit , read from my favorite devotional, wrote in my journal , worshiped to some awesome worship tunes , cried, laughed, got a little distracted , cried some more. Then with a heart full of love, hand full of new realizations, and a brain full of new information I had peace with my decision.

Matthew 6:6 "But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly."
Not all of my advisers will agree with this choice and some will probably even think I am stupid for making it, but at the end of the day I have to follow my heart . I take no opportunity that the Lord presents me lightly . While this was something that I inevitably had to pass on I am confident I am closer today than I was yesterday to "what's next". As God continues to provide for me in so many different ways I will continue to pursue after Him and His calling on my life . 
It's "Thankful Thursday" in social media land and so  I want to share my "thankful Thursday" with you . Tonight I am thankful for friends and family that love me so much that they aren't willing to let me be something I'm not , do something I'm not suppose to , and are smart enough to know how to talk to me about "the big stuff of life", as one of my former pastors use to always say . I am grateful for a God who is patient. SO VERY PATIENT !!!!! I'm thankful for a roof over my head , Jack Davis to keep me company , Facebook, texting , cell phones and Skype so that none of my loved ones are more than just a button push away . And a special Thank You to all those that spent time praying for me, with me, talking me off ledges, sending me encouraging text and helping me "do the math" this week in considering this opportunity .

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